My Problem With Pretty

There’s always that 1 little girl that is SOOOO pretty.

Everyone constantly compliments her in amazement and adoration. “You’re so pretty, you’re beautiful, OMG can’t believe how gorgeous you are”.

Before she can read, she probably thinks, “Hi. You’re so pretty” is a standard greeting.

I was never that little girl.

Growing up, I was a chubby faced little girl with a lopsided homemade haircut who wore hand-me-downs.

That didn’t bother me. I was smart, independent, and loved to make others laugh (AKA a class 🙂

As I got older, my good grades and leadership helped to build my confidence. I was a short skinny girl with a fat face, braces, and glasses.

I was also on Honor Roll, Student Council, and a proud 4-H Club officer.

My parents instilled in me the value of education. Because of this I grew up to be a woman proud of my brains, not dependent on beauty.

Eventually, the braces and glasses came off. The Summer before I went to college I grew 4 inches and my body finally hit puberty.

I didn’t really take notice to my new physical appearance. By then I was driven to get a good education and develop a career to provide for myself.

There’s nothing wrong with being pretty. My thing is that we should allow young girls to appreciate and strive for attributes outside of physical beauty.

Just because one is pretty, doesn’t mean she can’t excel at something else.

My problem with pretty is when you are dependent upon this, what happens when your pretty is gone?

What happens when you feel not pretty enough or your beauty can’t get you what you want? What else do you have to offer?

Being extremely pretty can almost be a curse.

Is it really your fault when every time you meet someone, the 1st thing they comment on is your looks?

How can a small child grow to value work ethic and achievement when the world just seems to remind her of her remarkable appearance?

It makes me wonder how much Society contributes to little girls growing up with self esteem issues. From almost birth, girls are instantaneously given accolades for physical beauty.

As a mom, I’ve really taken notice to this and try to take a different approach. Now, when I meet a little girl, I try very hard not to make “you’re so pretty” my 1st comment.

I try to say something like “I hear you’re doing well in school” or “you have such nice manners“.

Self image and self esteem are such big issues for women and it starts young. If we raise young girls to value their inner worth, it will eventually radiate into physical beauty.


5 Comments on “My Problem With Pretty”

  1. Grandma Tee August 24, 2012 at 12:09 PM #

    Neighbors in the Van Noy Loop Officers’ Housing at Ft. Meade called you the little Buddha because of your peaceful and happy nature. Glad that you grow up to be the Hotmama. It is not easy to be an ” Army Brat” with strict discipline and economical parents. Your best fortune is that you have such a protective and loving sister who did and will do anything for you.

  2. ahotmama August 25, 2012 at 3:59 AM #

    I had fun growing up and now I’m a semi strict and pretty economical parent myself 🙂

  3. Janet May 31, 2013 at 12:49 PM #

    This is extremely insightful. Very well written and true.

  4. Tina July 24, 2013 at 3:09 PM #

    Something to think about for everyone. I see a lot of truth in this.


  1. No Makeup At High School | A Hot Mama - March 8, 2013

    […] today to look a certain way is serious. It starts at such an early age. I always say that I have a problem with stressing to toddlers how pretty they are. Is this what it leads […]

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